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Help! I've Lost My Motivation and I Can't Get Up

Motivation has never been my strong suite when it comes to my health. I, like thousands of others, experience a sense of renewal and excitement over the prospect of getting healthy when the New Year rolls around, and I, like thousands of others, tend to give up by March. This is exactly where I’m at right now, and instead of not posting at all, I thought it was important to share my failures as well.

Life is never perfect as it seems online. This was a lesson that I needed to learn very early on in my college career. I was absolutely miserable living in Chicago and all I saw were photos and posts from friends on social media about what an incredible experience they were having. I remember crying to my mom on the phone about how badly I wanted to come home. She patiently listened to my hysterical gibberish and reminded me that every person has their own struggles, but they only post the best of their lives online. Yeah right, mom, I remember thinking to myself as I scrolled through dozens of photos of my old friends’ new friends. I got to the point where I couldn’t pretend to be enjoying myself at all and I called one of my best friends. Turns out, she was pretty miserable, too, even though she had recently posted pictures that argued otherwise.

The point of this is that I’m going to be honest with you. I got off track (although in my house we don’t like to use words or phrases that have any connections to trains. A prime example of this is the phrase “*insert noun here* was a train wreck!” These kinds of things make my dad get a little twitchy). I didn’t go off the rails (sorry again, dad) because I got busy or because anything big was happening. I just had a series of random events that led me off course. I wasn’t eating that great nor was I exercising. I started feeling terrible again and felt myself slipping back to square one. I was angry at myself because I had made so much progress and suddenly that was all gone.

I’ve always had a weird relationship with food and when I started getting down, I turned to junk food to deal with it. Obviously this caused me to feel even worse and I just felt like I was on a constant down spiral. During this time, I went with my parents on vacation and spent several days sitting in the sun and absorbing as much vitamin D as I possibly could and spent a lot of time thinking about my life and what I wanted to be doing. Doing this caused me more anxiety, but it was also exciting (but mostly horrific and I honestly don’t know if I got much sleep that whole trip).

I returned home about a week and a half ago and it’s taken me a few days, but I feel like I’m finally getting back on track. I got on the treadmill this morning for a zombie run and although I had clearly regressed, it felt good to do it. I’m feeling refreshed and excited to get back to my regular routine.

Just so this post isn’t completely bumming anyone out, I thought I’d give a brief update about other happenings in my life:

  1. I got caught up with Criminal Minds and now I’m losing my mind waiting each week for a new episode. How did we live before Netflix and Hulu?

  2. I’m going on a job hunt and don’t think I don’t know how to weeeeeeed them out (Spongebob, anybody? No? No?? Ok)

  3. I have found the Fountain of Youth and soon and very soon, I’m going to tell you how you, too, can have the secrets of the Universe for a small price on Amazon.

  4. I bought plants for my apartment and my monstrous kitten keeps trying to eat them. People constantly give me suggestions for how to train my cat to not do bad stuff, but it seems that Winnie may be a bit of a masochist who likes being sprayed with water and eating plants covered in vinegar. She may also be doing all of this to make me angry, in which case, she’s evil as can be. It’s really hard to tell with her.

  5. I’m almost ready to start writing a post about nontoxic makeup. I’ve been getting a lot of questions about it so if that’s something you’re interested in, LOOK OUT!!!! If not, well then I’m sorry and know that I still accept you (and that I also still get the views if you just click on the post so do me a favor and click but then immediately close the tab).

  6. I have social media sites for my blog now. You can find me on Pinterest, because I know you’re all super curious to know how I make my own hand soap that aggressively sprays out of the dispenser and gets your shirt wet, as well as Instagram. You’ll find the links to those under my little bio on the homepage.

  7. I… I don’t really have a seventh thing to add, I just like the number 7.

Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well and aren’t bored with me and my lack of updates. It’s hard thinking of ideas for a blog about healthy living and being nontoxic when all you do for three weeks is binge watch crime shows and eat take out. Stay tuned (or don’t) for some super exciting posts coming up. Also, please share my blog with anyone that you think would enjoy it!

Until then, be well and learn to accept your failures.

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